listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
