If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
