just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
