Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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