Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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