This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
