Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
So here I am, sexting at work.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
