first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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