If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
