Your tits are I can't wait for
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Randomize
