the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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