do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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