it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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