just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
