you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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