glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
