I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
