i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
