im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
