If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
