Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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