I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
