she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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