i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
