This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
