How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize