You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
