Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
