I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize