dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
