A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
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Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
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Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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