Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
