lets start a swedish sibling band together
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
