I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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