We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
