She is in my trunk
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
