if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
