I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
