Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
