In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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