And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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