hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
