Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize