i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
FUCK WHALES
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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