Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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