I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
