**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
