i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize