Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
