So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
