That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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