I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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