Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
