break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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