great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
