Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
