ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
they need to just BURY HIM!
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
