i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
And then he peed in my hair
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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