I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
