bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
