haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
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There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
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That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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